


Speak to Me

by Mareep16



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, F/F, F/M, Good boy kosmo, Keith is electively mute, Keith is the new kid at school, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of a Car Crash, Moving, Panic Attacks, Police officer Krolia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:08:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23581348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareep16/pseuds/Mareep16
Summary: Keith's world gets turned upside down after a terrible accident. His mom is barely holding herself together. His brother walks on eggshells around him.  He doesn't blame them.Everyone is waiting for the moment he falls apart.Now he's starting a new school.With no support group to back him up, he'll have to survive Altea Academy on his own.But with the guilt slowly eating him alive, how is he supposed to go on?How is he supposed to let anyone in?
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Ezor/Zethrid (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

Keith let out a huff as he watched the scenery pass by. Plains had slowly turned into towns that had slowly turned into cities. Cities that were full of people that Keith rather not interact with. He had no choice but to accept that he would soon find himself immersed in pollution and rich snobs. Acxa had warned him about city folk seeing as she used to live in the cities. They were all rude and no one knew how to drive. 

Keith sighed again. 

“Keith…”

The raven turned to look at the woman driving them straight to hell. Her dark eyes were filled with grief and worry as she glanced at him. Guilt crawled its way into his chest. He knew this was just as hard on her as it was for him. 

Maybe even more so.

He was the one at fault.

“This will be good for us. Just think of all the new experiences you’ll have.” 

Keith could only nod. 

He heard his mother sigh and it sent another bout of guilt through him. Slowly he placed his hand on hers. Krolia sent him a small smile. Keith couldn’t help but think that she looked so much older now. She was still beautiful despite the dark circles under her eyes. He tried not to think about how skinny she had gotten or how the light she radiated had dimmed out. 

Without a sound, Keith pulled his phone from the cup holder. It lit up, letting him know that he had a new message. Unlocking the phone, he went to his messages seeing that it was from his brother. 

**Shiro (1:49 pm): Where are you?**

_ Keith (1:51pm) Idk _

Keith looked around to find something that would let him know where they were but found nothing. Asking his mother was out of the question so the next best thing was google maps. 

_ Keith (1:58 pm): Fort Worth? _

**Shiro (2:00 pm): You should get here within the hour. Adam’s making dinner.**

_ Keith (2:02 pm): Good. Your cooking sucks. _

Keith placed his phone back in the cupholder. This caught the attention of a napping Kosmo who decided it was time to wake up. The wolf- husky mix stretched letting out a combination of a howl and a yawn. 

“We’re going to have to keep Kosmo at your uncle's house. “ 

Keith whipped his head around almost glaring at his mother. 

“It’s only temporary Keith. Shiro’s apartment doesn’t let in big dogs.” Krolia looked at her son and sighed. Keith’s eyes were glazed in tears he refused to let fall. She knew how much Kosmo meant to him. “As soon as we have the house situated, we’ll get him back. I promise.”

Keith said nothing, not that Krolia expected anything different. She sighed. She wished more than anything that she could go back to that night and shield her son from the horrors of the world. 

Keith wiped his eyes as they pulled up to a familiar home. This was where he would have to part ways with Kosmo. He watched as his mom got out of the car to greet her brother. He turned to look at Kosmo, the dog instantly lifting his head to lick Keith’s face. 

Keith smiled as he ran his hand through the wolf’s soft hair. 

“You be good for Uncle Kolivan okay?” 

The wolf responded with another lick. 

The back door to the Tahoe opened and Krolia hooked a leash onto Kosmo. 

Keith got out of the car, following his mom. 

Kolivon took the leash, petting the pup’s head. He turned to smile at his nephew. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll be well taken care of.”

Keith nodded and hugged Kosmo one last time. 

He tried to forget the sound of Kosmo’s barking as they left without him. 

“He’ll be fine sweetie. He has a big nice yard to run around in.”

Keith stayed silent, not that Krolia expected anything else. 

The rest of the trip went by in a blur and soon enough the two found themselves in front of a familiar door. Krolia knocked once, letting the occupants know of their arrival. A few seconds later the door opened to a beaming Adam. Unconsciously, Keith found himself hiding behind the taller woman. 

“Mrs. Kogane, it’s so good to see you again.” 

“I’ve told you, Krolia is just fine.” She smiled and hugged the other boy. Adam returned the hug before turning to Keith. 

“Hey, Keith.” 

Keith just nodded, ignoring how Adam’s smile faltered. He had nothing against Adam, the older man being another brother to him, he just hadn’t felt comfortable around people since the accident. 

“Come on in guys, Takashi just got home so he should be out of the shower soon. “ Adam explained as he led the two through the apartment. “Go ahead and make yourselves at home.” The brunette smiled and gestured to the living room. Krolia joined Adam on the couch, the two falling into easy conversation. Keith took this time to look around. 

He’d been here a few times during the past two years that Shiro has lived on his own. Each time the home is a little bit different. Picture frames, growing in number, lined the walls. Different moments in time captured forever behind glass. Keith smiled as he remembered a few of them, his smile falling when he got to a picture of Shiro at his high school graduation. Shiro was in the middle holding his diploma with his head held high. Keith and Krolia on his right, his father on the left. Both of his parents wore proud smiles on their faces. It was a happier time for the Kogane family. A time before Keith had to go and mess everything up. 

“I can’t believe it’s been two years already. College has gone by so fast.” Shiro laughed as Keith jumped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. “ Shiro apologized through his chuckle. The younger Kogane frowned and hit his brother in the chest, making Shiro laugh even more. 

Keith pushed past his brother, flipping him off in the process, and sitting next to his mom. Krolia had a fond smile on her face as she watched her boys, threading her fingers through Keith’s raven locks. 

“Aw, Keith I said I was sorry.” Shiro tried to keep his composure, he really did, but he’d missed his little bro.

Keith rolled his eyes but smiled a little at his brother. He’d missed Shiro. The last time he’d seen his brother, he’d been wracked with grief and worry. It was nice to see his older brother smile again. 

Shiro held his arms open, waiting for Keith to tackle him in a hug. Keith immediately hugged his brother, relaxing in Shiro’s arms as the elder hugged back. If he happened to cry, well no one needed to know. 

“Alright. Who’s ready for dinner?”

Of course, Adam had to be the one to ruin the touching moment. He didn’t even flinch when Keith glared at him. 

Dinner passed by quickly, Adam’s curry dish and Shiro’s inability to cook the main topics. Keith felt lighter than he had in months. His mother was finally smiling surrounded by the joyous atmosphere. He had almost forgotten what her laugh sounded like. He let himself feel happy, even if it was only for a little while. 

Sooner than he would have liked, night came, and with it were the demons he tried to hide from. 

As he showered and got ready for bed, he avoided looking at himself. The scars did nothing but remind him of what he had lost and that it was his fault. 

It was all his fault.

This grief. 

The move. 

Everything. 

His breath hitched and he couldn’t help but look at his reflection. His hair was still dripping water, the drops spreading across his shirt, staining it a darker red. 

Just like blood. 

He whimpered. 

Suddenly he wasn’t standing in his brother’s bathroom anymore. 

_ “Dad!” _

There was the sound of metal crunching all around him. 

The smell of gas and blood had Keith hunched over the toilet as he threw up the contents of his dinner. His sobs echoed around the tiny room as he tried to pull himself together. He couldn’t let his family see him like this. 

Couldn’t let his mom see him like this. 

As he sat on the cold tiled floor, he had one thought. 

Why couldn’t it have been him? 


	2. Chapter 2

Keith awoke to the sun in his face. Letting out a groan, he turned and buried his face into the pillow. When it got hard to breathe, he groaned again and turned to face away from the horrid sun. The smell of bacon wafted in from the kitchen, making Keith’s stomach tighten in hunger. 

Keith would admit that he wasn’t a morning person, but hunger won out in the end. He reluctantly left his warm haven and padded out of the room. Everyone was already awake and in the kitchen. Adam was at the stove making the glorious bacon, while Shiro made homemade orange juice. Krolia sat at the bar sipping on a cup of coffee. 

“Morning sweetie.” Krolia smiled at her youngest son. Keith gave his mother a hug before taking a seat at the bar. Shiro handed him a cup of coffee that at this point was mostly creamer. Keith hastily chugged it down making his mother shake her head and scold him about his manners.

“So the movers should be getting to the house by noon right?” Shiro asked.

“That’s the plan.” His mother took another sip of her coffee. “ I hate moving. It’s nothing but a hassle.”

“Adam and I have the weekend off to help you with the heavy lifting.” 

“I was forcefully volunteered.” Adam placed a plate of food in front of each Kogane. Keith's own plate had a noticeably extra amount of bacon. Keith sent Adam a smile before digging in. Shiro shook his head at his boyfriend to which Adam just smiled innocently. Shiro smiled back and Keith had to roll his eyes at how gay they could be. 

“I appreciate the help. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Krolia smiled at her boys. Shiro and Adam had both been a great help in the past six months.

“You don’t have to do this alone mom. I’m...we’re here to help you.” Shiro took his mother’s hand. “You just need to let me know.”

“Same goes for me. Just ask.” Adam agreed. 

“I do need to enroll Keith in school again on Monday. “ 

Keith stopped eating to give his mom a look. 

“Don’t give me that look. You need to go back to school. You’re already behind.” 

“Maybe you can talk to the principal, get him tested to see if he can just enroll in his right class.” Adam suggested. 

“Maybe. I’ll figure it out on Monday.” Krolia dug into her food and the conversation about school ceased. Keith hung his head and slowly began eating again. School was something he really didn’t want to think about. 

It wasn’t that he hated it, but being the new kid was bound to be a pain in his ass. At least at his old school, he had Acxa, Zethrid, and Ezor by his side. Here he was alone and with his current state, it was going to be a bitch making new friends. 

He sighed, suddenly not hungry, but he forced the food down. He didn’t need to give his mom more to worry about. 

Moving was exhausting. Keith was beyond tired that he could hear his bed calling to him. Unfortunately for him, his mattress was still in the moving truck. He groaned as he placed a box down in his new room. His new room was smaller than his old one. The new house was smaller than the last considering he had lived on a ranch. He would just have to add it to the ever-growing list of things he would have to get used too. 

He took a quick snap. Editing the picture and adding his caption. A simple ‘Kill me.’ followed by skull and bones. He sent it to the group chat. 

He got an instant reply from Ezor. A picture of her and Acxa on Zethrid’s family boat. She sent a quick chat reply. 

**‘I still say we paint a rainbow flag on your wall.’**

Keith smiled and put his phone back in his pocket. He ignored the hurt that picture had brought him. He couldn’t blame them for living their lives. As soon as Zethrid had learned to drive the boat, they had spent countless Saturday’s on the lake. 

“Lean it left. No, your other left. Kashi just listen to me for once.” Adam’s laughter filled voice filtered in from the hallway and brought Keith out of his thoughts.

“Adam love, your left is my right.” 

“Shhh. Just do as I say.” After a bit of shuffling, Adam appeared in the doorway holding on to half of Keith’s dresser. “Where do you want this kid?”

Keith pointed to the wall on his left. Adam nodded and went back to instructing Shiro on where to go. As they figured that out, Keith went back out to the trucks to get more of his boxes. His mother had forbidden him from any heavy lifting even though the doctors had told her that he was perfectly healthy. It was just another reason for his mother to baby him. 

He had been tasked with bringing boxes to their designated room. It had been easy enough and Keith was almost done. There were only a few more boxes left and Keith could almost taste relaxation. 

As the sunset, the last of the furniture had been brought in. His mother and Adam had unpacked most of the kitchen, and they were now making dinner. Shiro and Keith were sitting on the living room floor going through boxes and placing its contents in their proper place. 

Shiro laughed as he unboxed a picture frame. “I remember this. God look at my hair.” Keith crawled over to his brother to look at the picture. It was a picture of the both of them on Shiro’s first day of senior year. Shiro’s black hair was buzzed off on the sides with a tuft of white hair at the front. Shiro had bleached his hair trying to be cool but had failed. Keith smiled as he remembered Shiro’s freak out. 

Shrio put the frame to the side and pulled out another frame. Keith laughed as he caught sight of it. The picture was of Keith decked out in full cowboy gear at his first FFA event. Behind him was a white and black spotted pig called Peppa. Keith had been proud of that name even if the other kids had laughed at him. He hadn’t won but his parents had been proud of him anyway. Peppa became a part of the Kogane household after that. Until she had been sold that is.

“You looked so cute all decked out. “ 

Keith punched his brother in the arm only to be laughed at. He responded by flipping Shiro off. Shiro pulled Keith into a headlock, starting a sparring match between the two. Both boys rolled across the floor in a mess of limbs, only stopping when dinner was ready. 

Despite the extra help, it still took them a week to get fully settled into the house. Boxes were finally unpacked and the new house looked like a home. The first few nights sleeping in the new house were hard. He missed his old room. He missed waking up to the sound of Jerry the rooster. He missed falling asleep to the moon and not to lampposts. 

He sighed and turned to his side, facing away from the window. Another few days and he’d have Kosmo back. For now, he needed to sleep. He had a test in the morning to see if he could test back into his grade for school. He really wished he didn’t have to go back to school. 

Sooner than he liked, he was sitting in the middle of Altea Academy, test paper in front of him, and a ginger-haired teacher talking with his mother. He ignored the adults, seeing as they were most likely talking about him and his ‘situation’.” He furrowed his brows and read over the test. It was easy enough. A few questions that had to do with the four main subjects. When he had been in school, he’d had high grades. His parents expected him to do well, so he did. His dream was to be a pilot. 

Just like his dad. 

Life happened and his father became a firefighter instead. Keith had fallen in love with the idea of flying and had made his father’s dream his own. 

Now, it seemed like those dreams were too far away to reach. 

Gone with his father to a place Keith wanted so bad to follow. 

Keith shook the thoughts from his head and finished the test. He turned it in and they left. Krolia would receive a call with the test results by Friday. If everything went well, Keith would be starting no later than Tuesday morning. 

Keith wished he had answered the questions wrong. 


	3. Chapter 3

Keith stared at the building in front of him. Altea Academy, one of the most prestigious high schools in town. It was a private school that catered years K-12. He’d gotten a perfect score on his test, he knew he had, but had hoped he was still rejected. His mom had been so proud of him. 

He didn’t deserve it. 

So here he was, dressed in jeans and his least wrinkled shirt that just happened to be a Def Leppard shirt. He wore a red and black plaid shirt on top and his old combat boots. His mother had tried to tame his mess of hair but had given up and just pulled it into a ponytail in the end. 

“You ready?”

Keith’s eyes were filled with panic as he looked at his mom. He could feel his chest tightening and tried to push it down. The last thing he needed was to worry his mom on her first day of work. Especially since she was a police officer. She needed to stay focused if she was put on a call. He couldn’t make her worry. 

He slowly nodded. 

Krolia leaned over the center console and gave him a hug. “You’ll be fine baby. You just need to remember to breathe.” Krolia pulled away and Keith missed the comfort. “You have your notebook?” Keith nodded. “Okay. Your teachers have already been notified so you should be okay.” 

A bell sounded and Keith looked back at the school. “I’ll be here when you get out. Text me or your brother if you need anything.” Keith nodded again and opened the car door. “ Have a good day. I love you.” 

Keith looked at his mom and gulped. “...I... love you too.” his voice was small and barely above a whisper but Krolia heard it and sent him a smile. The raven sighed and stepped out into the hustle and bustle of school life. He waved as his mother pulled away before looking back at the looming building. Students swarmed around and Keith tried to avoid them as he walked towards the doors. He needed to go to the office and pick up his schedule. 

As he walked he failed to see the body that was running in his direction. The body slammed into him, sending both boys to the ground. A whimper left Keith’s lips as his ass connected to the concrete below.

“LANCE!”

“Oh my god! I’m so fucking sorry.” The guy, Lance, stood quickly and held his hand out for Keith to take. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Dios.” 

The tightness in his chest made its presence known again as Keith looked up at the other boy. He took in the tanned skin, brown hair, and ocean eyes, coming to the conclusion that he was too gay for this shit. 

The tanned hand hesitantly fell as the boy, Lance, looked at Keith in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. I should have been watching where I was going. I just didn’t want to be late ya know. I have this thing I have to get too and I wanted to make a good impression but that obviously is not gonna happen and I’m rambling. Sorry, I do that when I'm nervous. Sorry. I’ll shut up now. I’m Lance by the way.”

Keith could only stare. His heart was beating too fast.

Lance started back waiting for the raven to say something or to stand. Eventually, his eyes narrowed in anger. “I said I was sorry. You could at least say something instead of just staring at me.”

By this point, two others had walked up. The darker male placed a hand on Lance's shoulder in an act to calm him down. The smaller redhead was watching Keith carefully. Keith looked between the three before signing sorry back to Lance. Instantly Lance's anger faded away. “Dude I'm so sorry. Wait, can you hear me?”

Keith nodded while the redhead punched lance in the arm. “He’s mute, not deaf you dunce.” She squatted next to the raven. “Hi I'm Katie but you can call me Pidge. The dunce is Lance and this guy is Hunk.” she explained as she pointed to the other boy. 

Keith took his notebook from his bag, hastily writing his name on the paper before showing the group. Lance held his hand out again. Keith took it this time and let the other male help him up. 

“Nice to meet you, Keith. Again I'm so sorry. “

Keith nodded and packed his notebook away as another bell sounded. 

The raven jumped as Lance screeched. “I gotta go!” He ran off into the crowd. 

Pidge shook her head and hooked her arm with Keith’s. “You’ll get used to him. Come on. Hunk and I will walk you to the office.” 

Keith couldn’t protest and let the redhead pull him along. Something told him that she wasn’t someone he wanted as an enemy. 

As they walked, she and Hunk talked about their weekend. It turned into Pidge asking him yes or no questions. For the first time in a long time, Keith felt normal. They didn’t treat him like he was made of glass. They didn’t look at him like he was a freak. They pulled him into the conversation without even knowing him. 

He felt like he belonged. 

His heart clenched. 

Too soon they walked up to the front desk. 

“Come find us at lunch. We’ll save you a seat.” It wasn’t a question. 

He nodded and waved at them as they left to their own classes. With a deep breath, he walked in, coming face to face with Lance again. 

“Ah, Keith.” Alfor, the school’s principal, smiled at him. Keith had met him on Friday when they’d come to enroll him. He was a nice man as far as Keith could tell. He seemed to really care about his students, including Keith. He’d made sure to personally make Keith’s schedule. Picking teachers that he knew would make Keith feel like any other student. 

Keith nodded at Alfor in greeting. 

The man gestured to Lance. “This is Lance McClain. I asked him to show you around. You’ll both be excused from first and second periods. That should give you enough time for a grand tour.”

“Of course sir. We’ll get started right away.” He smiled at Keith and walked to the door, holding it open for Keith. 

Alfor placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Lance has your schedule. He’ll make sure you know where your classes are. You’re in good hands.”

Keith smiled at the older man before following Lance. The brunet started talking immediately. Telling the raven all about the school and the clubs that it offered. They walked around the building as Lance took Keith to all his classes, showing him the easiest ways to get there. He showed him the gym and the cafeteria. As they passed the football field, Lance pointed at a decent-sized barn in the distance. 

Keith’s interest peaked as Lance told him it was for the FFA. He’d loved being a part of that club. 

Lance stopped talking as he noticed Keith’s interest. 

“My friend Shay is the president of the club. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to get a new member.”

Keith shook his head, scribbling something in his notebook before showing Lance. 

_ ‘Thanks but I need to focus on school work at the moment.’  _ Not a total lie, but Lance didn’t need to know the truth. 

Lance nodded. “If you change your mind, don’t hesitate to let me know. “

_ ‘Thanks, Lance.” _

They continued the tour, ending up at Keith’s third-period class. “Well, this is where I take my leave. I hope I didn’t bore you too much.”

Keith shook his head. 

Lance grinned. “I’ll see you at Lunch?”

Keith nodded and Lance’s smile grew.

“Cool. I’ll see you then. Bye Keith.” Lance waved as he took off down the hall. Keith watched him go before facing his classroom. 

It was now or never. 

As the bell rang, Keith walked in. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Like I would ever go out with someone so, so…”

“I’ll crush him if he ever tries hitting on you again.”

“Stop it you two.” 

Keith watched as the girls on his screen started ranting about some guy that had asked Ezor out. Acxa, always the voice of reason, was trying to calm them down. Keith shook his head as he watched Zethrid crush Ezor in a hug. If they weren’t dating, he would have been scared for the smaller girl’s life. 

Acxa sighed in defeat as she gave up trying to calm them down. Instead, she turned back to the screen. “Tell me about these new people you met. Replacing us already?”

Keith typed out his response.  _ ‘You wish.’ _

“Wait, Keithy made new friends?” Ezor escaped her girlfriend's arms and came back to the computer. 

_ ‘We’re not friends. We’ve known each other for a day.’ _

“But you’re already having gay thoughts for one of them?” Ezor supplied.

Keith blushed and shook his head furiously.  _ ‘NO. I SAID HE WAS CUTE. THAT’S IT.’ _

They laughed.

He crossed his arms. A glare on his face but no heat behind it. He’d never been able to be mad at them. They’d stuck with him through all the hard times. 

“But for real...:” Ezor’s smile faltered. She was never one to be so serious. “How are you? “

Keith sighed and looked down at his lap. He was fine right? Physically he was perfectly healthy. No lasting damages or side effects. He knew that’s not what Ezor had meant, but he couldn’t tell them the truth. They would only worry. 

_ ‘I’m the perfect vision of health.’ _

Ezor went to say something but was interrupted by Zethrid. 

“That’s good. Next time I see you, we can have that arm wrestling rematch.”

Keith nodded.  _ ‘Can’t wait.’ _

Acxa and Ezor immediately went into an argument on who would win. Zethrid looked at Keith, a question swimming in her eyes. While she wasn’t one to openly show her emotions, she cared deeply for her friends and family. She worried and cared for him just as much as Ezor and Acxa did, but knew not to push him too much. They were the same in that regard. Zethrid understood, he’d talk when he was ready too. 

He smiled at her. “I’m okay.” He mouthed. 

She nodded before loudly claiming that she would definitely win. It threw Acxa more into the conversation as she defended Keith’s honor. He was touched, but even he knew he wouldn’t win with his current state. He wasn’t going to let them know that though. He had an image to uphold. 

Eventually, they settled down and started telling him about all the drama happening at school and in their lives. Keith listened, responding when he needed too. At some point, Kosmo came bounding into the room and straight onto Keith’s bed. If he tried really hard, he could imagine them all being together. Ezor would have left Zethrid in favor of cuddling and talking to Kosmo. They’d go downstairs at some point to raid the fridge, waving to his parents. Maybe they would have gone on a late-night horse ride down to the lake. 

His eyes stung. 

Suddenly, with his friend’s voices echoing through the room, he felt lonely. 

He was the last one to leave the room, always letting the other students go first. It was only his second week of school, and he was already the outcast. Once people figured out that he wasn’t going to speak, they’d stopped trying. No one wanted to make nice with the ‘mute emo kid’. 

He pulled the strap of his bag higher onto his shoulder as he walked out. 

“Keith!”

The raven turned to see Lance leaning against the lockers. The other male was dressed in whitewashed skinny jeans and a white hoodie with ‘Supreme’ written on the front, and damn did he look good. 

Keith swallowed down his gay panic and waved at the other boy. 

Lance sent him a bright smile and pushed off from the lockers. “Wanna walk to lunch together?”

The raven nodded and stepped in line with Lance. The brunet kept up the conversation, telling Keith all about his first set of classes and how it was unfair to have so much homework. Keith laughed at the Cuban's dramatics. It wasn’t that much homework. 

“Keith! Lance!” Hunk yelled as they walked up to their usual table. 

“Hunk! My Sunshine!” Lance threw himself in Hunk’s arms. Keith had been highly confused the first time he’d seen their interactions. He’d asked Pidge if they were a thing. She’d laughed entirely too long before enlightening him about the two best friends. 

Lance also had a girlfriend. Her name was Allura and Lance claimed she was an actual goddess. He had yet to meet her. She was Captain of the cheerleading squad and spent most of her lunches practicing. 

“Hey, Keith.” Pidge greeted. 

He waved and sat down next to the small girl. Out of the trio, Pidge had to be this favorite. They had so much in common and Keith could definitely see himself geeking out with her. 

The redhead pulled out a piece of paper from her binder and handed it to him. “These are all the Buzzfeed Unsolved videos you should watch first. Obviously you need to watch all of them, but these are the most important.” 

Keith took the paper and looked it over. 

“No one cares about your little nerd show pidge.” 

Pidge threw a glare at Lance. “Bite me, Lance. I know you watch them too. Rachel told me. She also said you sneak into her bed after watching them because you’re too scared to sleep alone.”

Lance looked at her horrified. 

Yup, Keith definitely never wanted to be on Pidge’s bad side. 

Lance and Pidge started throwing insults at each other while Hunk tried to play peacekeeper. Their insults were the stupidest names Keith had ever heard.

It was all too much. Without realizing it, Keith started laughing. He couldn’t breathe and his sides hurt more than they should have, but he couldn’t stop. Tears sprung to his eyes and he quickly wiped them away. 

_ ‘I’m sorry. You guys are bad with insults. Carrot. Like WTF?’  _

“He has a pointy chin?” Pidge shrugged. 

Keith let out another bark of laughter. The others soon joined him.

They weren’t his girls, no one would ever replace them, but Keith was finding it harder to not call them friends. 

“So how was your first week of school?” Shiro asked as he put a spoonful of peas on Keith’s plate. 

Keith shrugged and made a face at the peas.

“Mom said you made some new friends. What are they like?”

He shrugged again. 

Shiro sighed and sat down next to Keith at the table. Krolia was working late and Shiro had been tasked to babysit. “Are they at least nice?”

Keith looked at his older brother. “...yeah. Pidge is pretty cool. She likes cryptids.” He ignored the tears forming in Shiro’s eyes. “Hunk is nice. He likes to cook. Lance is…” He didn’t know how to describe Lance really. “Lance is...loud? They’re cool.” He took a bite of his chicken, avoiding Shiro’s gaze. 

Shiro sniffed as he fought the tears. “I’m glad you’re making friends Keith.” He placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder and squeezed. 

Keith nodded and went back to eating his dinner in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Panic Attack, Mention of blood

_ “I don’t love you. I never did.” _

_ “Dad please come get me.”  _

_ “Dad watch out!” _

_ “Dad?” _

Keith woke in a cold sweat. His breathing was labored and tears ran down his face. He couldn’t breathe. Smoke and blood filled his lungs making him gag every time he tried to breathe. Metal twisted around him and his vision blurred as he fell onto the black asphalt. He could faintly register a dog barking in the distance. 

_ When did Kosmo get here? _

He hadn’t been in the car right?”

“Keith sweetie, you’re not there. You’re okay. You’re okay.” His mom’s voice drifted into his ears. She sounded like she was crying. Had he died? “Breathe with me.” He didn’t know how that would help. His lungs were filled with his own blood. 

His vision darkened.

“Keith, please. Breathe.” 

He tried to follow her breathing but his lungs were on fire. Every breath sent excruciating pain throughout his body. “It hurts. Mom... it hurts.”

“Keith, honey, you need to breathe. In...Out. In...Out.

Why couldn’t she understand he was drowning in his own blood? How did she not understand he was in pain. A warm weight was placed in his lap, he tentatively touched it, coming into contact with soft fur. 

Kosmo. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, gripping at Kosmo’s dark fur. He tried once more to copy his mother’s breathing, being more successful this time.

Kosmo hadn’t been in the car. 

He wasn’t there anymore. 

Slowly he opened his eyes. The sight of his mother and Kosmo greeted him. His mom had tears in her eyes but quickly wiped them away. She rubbed his back as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. Kosmo kept his head on his lap, glancing at him every so often. He knew Kosmo wouldn’t move unless he was certain Keith was okay. 

“Good boy.” Keith rasped out as he ran his hand along Kosmo’s back. 

He closed his eyes again, leaning on his mom. He was more exhausted now than he had been when going to bed. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

His mother said nothing as she held him close. 

“Keith my man!” 

He flinched as Lance slapped him on the back in greeting. He glanced at the other boy and Lance took a seat next to him. Art was the only class they shared and today Keith wished he didn’t. 

“You okay? You look like shit.”

Keith sent him a tired glare. He hadn’t been able to fall back asleep last night. His mom had suggested he stayed home, but Keith declined. The idea of staying in an empty home terrified him. 

_ ‘Didn’t sleep much last night.’ _ he lazily wrote. 

Lance’s brows furrowed as he looked at Keith in concern. “Wanna go to the nurse? You should really get some sleep.”

_ ‘It’s fine.’ _

Keith sat up straighter as their art teacher walked in. He just wanted this day to end. 

Art was usually filled with Lance talking his ear off. Keith didn’t mind, he liked Lance’s stories. Today, however, Lance kept quiet, throwing Keith concerned looks every few minutes. The raven huffed. He didn’t like people worrying about him. He threw all his remaining energy into the piece they were working on, ignoring Lance’s looks. 

Soon the bell rang and they walked to Lunch in silence. Lance walked him to the table before disappearing into the mass of students. 

Keith laid his head on his backpack. 

Car headlights flashed through his head and he jolted awake.

“You okay dude?” Hunk asked. Pidge and Lance looked at him.

He nodded and looked at the girl sitting next to Lance. Her silvery-white hair was pulled into a messy bun. She was absolutely beautiful. 

She gave him a warm smile. 

Allura. 

She had to be Allura. 

“Hello Keith, I’m Allura. It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

He sent her a fake smile. _ ‘Nice to meet you Allura.’ _

The smile almost fell as he caught Lance watching him. 

Her smile grew as she went back into her discussion with Pidge. 

Keith quickly pulled his phone out. 

He couldn’t look into those blue eyes. Those eyes that made him feel naked and vulnerable. Those eyes that looked like they were looking into his soul, searching. Keith was scared for the day Lance found what he was looking for. 

Lunch ended soon after and Keith tried to bolt to his next class. He was stopped by PIdge who grabbed the hood to his hoodie. 

“We’re all hanging out at my house later. You’re coming.” She didn’t give him a chance to make up an excuse. 

He sighed and made his way to class. Maybe he’d get a break and his mom would say no. 

His mom didn’t say no. 

As soon as school was out, he’d rushed to the parking lot and straight to his mom’s SUV. He had almost made it when Pidge appeared and clung to his arm. “Is that your mom?”

Keith nodded and led Pidge to the car.

Krolia looked confused at the newcomer but smiled at Pidge anyway. 

“Hi Mrs. Kogane, My name’s Katie. I’m Keith’s friend.”

“Krolia. Nice to meet you, Katie. I‘m glad Keith’s making friends.”

“Some friends and I were going to hang out at my house after school. I was wondering if maybe Keith could come?” 

Krolia looked at her son. His eyes pleaded at her to say no. “Sure.” He’d thank her later. 

Pidge smiled and thanked Krolia. Keith sighed and walked to the driver’s side of the car. He gave his mom a look, making her laugh. 

“You’ll be fine. Have fun and I’ll see you later tonight. I have to go back to work. I love you.”

“Yeah...love you too. Be careful.” He hugged her through the window. 

“Call if you need me.” 

Keith watched her drive away. 

“Your mom seems cool.”

Keith jumped. He hadn’t noticed Pidge walk up. His heart started pounding. How long had she been there? Had she heard him? 

Pidge looked up at him. Her eyes studied him for a moment. Soon they softened and she took his hand. “Come on. The others are waiting for us.” 

Keith followed her. 

He was glad he could call PIdge his friend. 


	6. Chapter 6

The Holt’s were the nicest people Keith had ever met. They were also the scariest. Colleen welcomed him with open arms and treated him the same as the others. Neither of them treated him any differently. What made them scary was how smart they all were. He now knew where Pidge had inherited her smarts from. 

Along with Sam and Colleen, he met Pidge’s brother Matt. Matt was in college and apparently was friends with Shiro and Adam. He’d found that out when Matt had yelled his name before Pidge could introduce them. They all had dinner together like a big happy family. Even though Lance, Hunk, and he weren’t actually family, they were treated as such.

It was nice. 

After dinner, they all went upstairs to Pidge’s room. Her room was exactly as Keith imagined. Posters of aliens and cryptids hung on the walls. Her desk was a mess with different electronic parts. Fairy lights hung on the wall behind her bed. It was just so, Pidge. 

Pidge climbed on her bed, leaning on the headboard. Lance sat in Pidge’s computer chair as Hunk plopped down on a beanbag. Keith stood awkwardly. He should leave. He didn’t belong as they did. 

Pidge patted the spot next to her. “Sit.” She commanded. 

Keith walked to the bed and sat next to the small girl. 

“Dude relax. It’s just us.” She smiled. 

He let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. He just needed to relax. They were friends, right?

He started to relax more when Lance pulled out Pidge’s Nintendo 64. They started with Mario Kart and quickly changed it to Mario Party when Lance and Keith started throwing shells at each other instead of actually playing. As the night went on, Keith let his walls down little by little. He let himself be happy. Let himself laugh to the point of tears as Lance let Pidge put makeup on him. Let himself get lost in Hunk’s amazing cookies. Overall it was nice. 

“I’ve never seen someone run as fast as Matt did. He just noped out of there as soon as the mentos fell into the soda. It was hilarious. Mrs. Holt was so mad. She was actually scarier than you. I thought he was going to die.” 

Keith wiped a tear from his eye as he told his mom about his night. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. He was actually talking. No awkward silence or hastily written notes. 

Krolia couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Keith had missed that smile. 

“See, I told you it would be fine.”

“I know but…” His smile faded. 

Krolia pulled him closer to her. They were sitting on the couch. His mom had been watching some soap opera before Mrs. Holt had dropped him off. He’d walked through the door and instantly started talking. 

She ran her hand through his hair. "It's okay to trust people Keith. I know you're still hurting but, what happened with James…"

Keith pulled away. The name igniting flames of anger that coursed through his body. "Don't say his name." He growled. 

Krolia sighed. "Keith…"

"No!" He pulled his knees to his chest, hiding his face. "He's the reason dads gone…" 

_ No. You're the reason. _

He shook his head, ignoring the voices. He knew they were right, but James was a fault too. If he'd never dated the bastard…

_ I don’t love you. I never did. _

His eyes stung. 

He fought against the surge of emotions threatening to spill out. Months of whispered "I love you's", secret meetings, and late nights wrapped in each other's arms, spilled over. The love he'd hidden away made his heartbreak all over again. 

Krolia reached out, to pull her son close. He quickly stood and rushed up the stairs to his room. 

Regret filled her as she watched him leave. 

Keith wiped his eyes and turned his computer on, calling the only person who understood. 

The call connected and before she could even speak, Keith was already opening his mouth. 

"Just talk." 

Acxa's eyes softened as she caught sight of him. His voice was so broken, just like the last time she'd heard him speak. It felt like a lifetime ago. 

She started talking about everything that had happened that day. From the drama to what she had for dinner. She told him about their last lake trip. How Ezor had fallen off the boat trying to take a selfie. Zethrid had immediately jumped in after her even though Ezor wasn't in any danger, leaving the boat running and Acxa jumping to the steering wheel. 

Keith snorted. 

Acxa smiled. 

"So, wanna tell me what's got big bad Kogane all upset?"

Keith sighed. "Asshole."

The blue-haired girl nodded. "I can go beat him up again if you want."

The raven shook his head. 

"The pain will stop eventually. First loves are always the hardest to get over but… eventually, the pain stops. You'll see that they weren't the one and it'll be easier to move on."

"It's been months…"

"Six. I hardly call that time to move on, plus you've had other things on your mind… How's everything?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Keith...are you still blaming yourself?"

He stayed quiet. 

"You know it wasn't your fault. It was that drunk driver's fault."

"Stop…"

Acxa went quiet at the desperation in Keith's voice. She had known Keith a long time. Since kindergarten when they were desk buddies and Keith had stolen her red crayon. She'd punched him, and despite losing a tooth, Keith had become her best friend. They were inseparable and did everything together. He was her brother. She loved him dearly and it killed her to see him like this. 

So broken. 

Nothing like the hot-headed boy she had grown up with. 

She didn't know what to do. Didn't know how to help. 

He was falling apart, and Acxa didn't know if she was enough to pick up the pieces.

The doorbell rang.

_ Bark! _

Keith flinched as Kosmo barked and bolted out of the room, successfully giving the raven a heart attack. He placed his sketchbook to the side and followed the sound of Kosmo's barking. 

"Kosmo, down." The wolf laid down but kept a watchful eye on the door. Keith opened the door and was instantly shoved aside as the short girl came in. 

"Took you long enough." Pidge's eyes lit up as she caught sight of the dog. "Puppy!" 

She let Kosmo sniff her hand, petting him once he deemed her worthy. "What's his name?"

Keith tapped the collar around Kosmo's neck. It was a dark leather collar. Kosmo's name was branded into the leather.

"Kosmo. You're such a good boy aren't you?" Kosmo held his head high, enjoying the praise. 

Keith pulled his phone from his pocket, sending Pidge a text. 

**'What are you doing here?'**

"Hanging out with you. What friends usually do on Saturdays." She walked into the living room, looking around. Every now and then, she would lean in close to examine a picture. 

"You know, you look exactly like your mom." She pointed at the picture. "Is that your dad?" 

Keith nodded as he came to stand next to her. 

She didn't say anything else, not commenting on the hurt that flashed through her friend's eyes. 

Instead, she pulled something out of her backpack. "I brought Mario Kart. Switch this time. Please tell me you have a TV with HDMI.”

Keith smiled and nodded. He took her hand and pulled her up the stairs to his room. She went to work connecting her switch to his T.V. 

He grabbed his sketchbook off the bed and placed it on his desk, grabbing his notebook. 

Pidge eyed the book. She had so many questions but didn't want to pry. She didn't want to lose the friendship she'd found. It was hard for her to make friends. She had been lucky when she was partnered with Lance for a project. He’d instantly accepted her and introduced her to Hunk and Allura. 

"Haha!" She said as the screen connected. She tossed a controller in Keith's direction. "Ready to be schooled?"

Keith laughed as Pidge yelled at him. He had hit her with a shell and won first place. She'd been so shocked by the betrayal that she'd stop pressing the button, getting last place. 

"I can't believe you! The audacity!"

"Your face." Keith laughed. 

He stopped when Pidge just smiled at him and he realized what had happened. 

"I uh…" He looked at his lap.

"You have your reasons. I'm not going to pry." 

He snuck a glance at the redhead. She was looking at the screen, picking their next wave of races. 

"Thank you Pidge." 

She shrugged. "You're my friend. I'm not going to judge you and if you need to talk… I'm a pretty good listener." She looked at him. "But… if you tell anyone that I have a heart...I'll end you." 

Keith snorted. "I'm sure you will." 

They went back to their game. It felt like a weight had been lifted. He could be himself around Pidge without her judging. She didn't question him if he reverted back to writing his words. She let him be. 

Maybe someday he'd be able to confide in her. 


End file.
